Either you repeat the same conventional doctrines everybody is saying, or else you say something true, and it will sound like it’s from Neptune. — Noam Chomsky
Yes, I know corrosivity is not a word as far as you’ve heard. It is a novel combination of corrosive and acidity to me. Because I didn’t want to write ‘an ocean of acidity’ — it’s not right, not P.C., err, I mean it’s not P.H.! (Gee…) Simply equip and tip in a ton of tums to neutralize the acidic H-2-O blip; not the right video-clip. So, corrosivity it is…
And let’s get it clear: I’m here not to neutralize the seas by puffin’ calcium into the breeze. Creating a ton of anything is hard work for me, being a crab astrologically. So, what to do in a corrosive ocean? What’s the potion?
I see my buddy Pisces afloat and adrift, aloft and aloof in a fantasy of idea thrift. I know not to follow so as not to get lost. And I also can’t abandon my aqueous ship there, boss. The depths being so well-equipped to my elusive style of image-shift.
And a playful warping of the story verbosely is not the essence of this poetic trip. So I digress — unless… No. The real question is not how to rhyme this session, but how to stay solid in a corrosive ocean where you know-not-what-means-stolid.
When you live underwater, the world is heavy. Ideas are tempting but can drag you down fishy rabbit-holes quick. Mystery and deception, image and self-defense protection not a problem for the clawed-crawling-shelled-crusty creatures like me-myself and a few other watery-signed-types on the shelf. But with an ocean of emotive ideas at my finger-claw-tips, and the schools of benign-looking hook-hidden pips, the challenge remains to open-shell with the proper currents and down comrades at my hip.
Open too much and pure-essence is leaked.
Too little and neurotic claws begin to auto-collapse on the allied-peeps.
So, to flow or to swim is the question to let sink in. To roll in the under-tow or no?
And the best way for us, these crustaceans, not-to-crack, is to never let this very question stab us in the back.
“You can’t just go around bashing the Singularity like that!”
“Well, why not? Isn’t it due the same scrutiny as any other statistical or theoretical extrapolation?”
“No. Just no.”
“Why is that?”
“Don’t you understand?! — the Singularity is a sacred tenant of Nerd-dom, beating out even force-fields and light-sabers in conceptual God-status!…”
“I am not aware of any such thing as conceptual God-status, nor does it lend anything at all to your case this equating it with your Zeus-level memetics or whatever you want to call it. Science doesn’t care if it’s cool or if your world view rests upon its shoulders; all that matters is the truth: Is it going to happen or isn’t it? And your quick-tempered reaction to my by-all-standards-justifiably-dubious approach to the issue is self-defeating to say the least… I mean, would you want people making parody god-concepts out of your precious Singularity, much like the Flying Spaghetti Monster or the Invisible Pink Unicorn parody the God of the Old Testament? Give it a rest, please! It’s just another blogger pointing out some obvious fallacies inherent in the meme.”
“I… Ghah! I hate you!!”
“To further my point, consider how unlikely it is that we could properly imagine something so supposedly un-imagineable in the first place! I mean, where do you even start if the extrapolation leads to a wall of un-extrapolatability? ‘It’s like saying God is so mysteriously, incredibly powerful that you’re not even gonna believe it!’ To which me or any other sane, skeptical scientist would respond: ‘Ok, I’ll take your word for it. I don’t believe in it one bit then!’ Don’t waste your energy deifying such a mundane, backwater concept, that’s all I’m saying.”
“It’s not mundane or backwater! It’s brand-spanking new! It’s — it’s.. It’s the most glorious — bad-assest, mega-bajillion-power-plus-infinity concept there is! I mean, the Singularity almost guarantees us Earthly eternal bliss. And you don’t even have to believe in it to get the access-cards to the Mega-Rapture of the Nerds. It’s just gonna happen, what with all the modulation and widgetizing and hackitizing, not to mention the research and development money that’s being poured into the field of recursively self-improving A.I., which is really just the beginn…”
“Stop. Just stop right there. I’ve heard it all before. I’ve seen the wikipedia article on the Technological Singularity. I’ve listened to Ray Kurzweil speak at TED. I’ve read Vernor Vinge’s works. There’s nothing you can say. You’re not gonna convert me. I’m beyond it. I’m post-cyberpunk to your momma’s moldy Nöospheres. I’m post-singularitarian while you’re still in singularitarian infancy. I’m nerd nihilism 2.0. But you, you’re still raving about AOL 2.0!! Go home already!! Just go home!”
The nihilist turns his back and walks away, leaving Mr. S-fan boquiabierta — stunned and without a comeback.
“God I hate these playa-hater’s…” mumbles Mr. S-fan to no-one in particular. Looking off into the distance he ends saying, “Maybe I should make it a religion…. Yea, I’ll call it Singularitarianism… Yeah, I like the sound of that. It just rolllllls off your tongue…” He tromps self-righteous back to the hood, his hood, the neighborhood net-cafe, to make his plans for the future and ensure that nerd-nihilism spreads to not-another-soul…
I’m a neologist. So I love making new words out of old dried up ones. Take spork for example. This one’s been around for awhile, but people still love to mention it wherever and whenever a controversy over cutlery comes up.
Here I present you my TOP 10 Most Recent Combinovelties. You can try it too. No need to follow my pattern. Just do whatever sounds good. I have to say entry #3 “HUNGRIRED” doesn’t roll off the tongue too smoothly, but if you’re a nerd like me it’s quite polikely you’ll digg a few of these other newfastic words:
#1 – POLIGIOUS
Religious + political = poligious, as in
“Can we create a satirical film that combines all the most poligious movies?”
#2 – SPIROLITICAL
Spiritual + political = spirolitical, as in
“Buddhist anarchists look for spirolitical solutions to amoral systems.”
#3 – HUNGRIRED
Hungry + tired = hungrired, as in
“But coach, I’m so hungrired.”
#4 – FLIERED
Full + tired = fliered, as in
“Food coma.”
“Dido, I’m fliered.”
#5 – POLIKELY
Likely + possible = polikely,
as in “The forecast for Mt. Everest tomorrow: Snow is polikely.”
#6 – POSSUNKELY
Unlikely + possible = possunkely, as in
“Possums wearing pants post-partem is pretty possunkely, pal.”
#7 – LARGITING
Large + exciting = largiting, as in the Burj Dubai.
#8 – EXSMALTING
Small + exciting = exsmalting, as in
“I’m so exsmalted about the new iPhone 4GS. But the thought of jailbreaking it is even more exsmalting.”
#9 – FOLDASTIC
Old + fantastic = foldastic, as in
“Look at this antique origami praying mantis I found. It’s foldastic!”
#10 – NEWFASTIC
New + fantastic = newfastic, as in
“I’m a neologist; all these newfastic words are gonna give me a braingasm!”
###
BONUS #11 – SORRIBLE
Horrible + simple = sorrible, as in
“Pleasing neologists is sorrible work, indeed, but the nerd rapture is coming, so I better get used to it.”
BONUS #12 – GRIMPLE
Great + simple = grimple, as in
“It would really be grimple if you could add a few combinovelties yourself in the comments!!”
The Invisible Pink Unicorn. The brilliant imaginary beast which cannot be seen is manifest. She truly exists and blesses all ye faithful followers. Ever since the day she shone upon me her lovely, photon-free light, I’ve felt stupendously full of fortune. Faith was all that was needed; learning unnecessary. The path was laid out before me in footprints I needed only to believe in – Pink ones. Invisible pink ones. And now I know the way. Blessed be her.
LEARN MORE: The unseen path can here be discovered. She awaits.
Oh, and don’t trust the propaganda below. Contrary to the information in the video, Her Pinkness is not a hallucination. She is real.
